What I learned From Not Getting the Job

I didn’t get the job. And I felt it-in my stomach, in my chest, in that voice that tries to whisper “maybe you’re still not enough.”

It’s easy to say “rejection is redirection” when you’re not sitting in the quiet afterward, wondering what you could’ve said differently, if you were too honest, too soft, too much. I told them the truth- that I cry when I see something beautiful, that I care deeply, that I’m still learning how to regulate my nervous system.

That truth did not get me the job. But it did get me closer to myself.

I realized something: I’m not ashamed of being sensitive. I’m tired of pretending that masking emotion is a virtue. I’m tired of trying to prove that I’m “healed enough” to deserve belonging.

The truth is, I showed up. Nervous. Hopeful. Honest. I don’t sell them an idea of me. I gave them the real one.

And maybe that’s the beginning of everything- learning to sit with the mess without turning it into a character flaw.

So no, I didn’t get the job. But I got the chance to see myself in a new way.

Still growing. Still showing up. Still choosing truth over polish. And that counts for something.

For anyone else sitting in the “not yet”.. If you didn’t get the job, the opportunity, the answer you hoped for- I want you to know that showing up still matters. You’re allowed to feel disappointed. You’re allowed to wonder if you’re enough. And you’re also allowed to keep growing without rushing to fix what isn’t broken. You’re not a failure for feeling things deeply. You’re not behind. This is what it means to be human. This is what becoming looks like.