This space grew out of a lot of messy pieces of my life and I wanted a place where all of them could live together honestly. This isn’t a place for perfection. It’s a place for reflection. For belonging. For messy progress. For the stories we are still writing. If you feel you have something to share- a letter, a reflection, a messy middle moment of your own- you’re welcome here too. There is room for you in this unfinished story.

  • Hi- I’m glad you’re here. Not In Vain wasn’t created to showcase a finished product. It wasn’t made because I have all the answers. It was built because I don’t- and because I fianlly realized that’s okay. This site is my open space. A place for me to write down what’s heavy, what’s healing, and everything in between. A place to be unfiltered. A place to track my progress not the polished milestones, but the messy, painful, stubborn growth that happens in the middle. I’ve struggled for a long time with regulating my emotions. There have been days I couldn’t move forward days when the real battle waasn’t anything outside of me, but everything inside of me. I still have days like this. Mental health is not a side note to this journey it is the ground i am building on. That is why my steps have been slow, uneven, sometimes almost invisible, but they’ve still been mine. I’m not writing here to be chosen. I’m not writing for attention. I am writing because i need to . Because I need a place that holds the truth that healing isn’t linear, and it isn’t pretty, and it doesn’t have to be done quietly in secret shame. If you are here maybe you have felt it too the loneliness of trying to build a life while still carrying your own rubble. The ache of trying to find meaning in the mess. The fear that maybe it was all for nothing. I don’t have perfect wisdom to offer you but I do have this:

    Proof that even broken things can grow. Proof that even if it feels like no one is watching, your story still matters. Proof that your messy middle is not the end. It Is the Beginning

  • The messy middle is where I talk about the parts of healing and growing that don’t fit into neat success stories- the days that are chaotic, uncertain, still becoming.

  • Meeting ground is a space for all my political opinions and pieces of writing that I have found throughout my journey that I resonated with.

  • Explore collaboration and creation between humans and AI and why this is important.

  • This space for anyone grieving the loss of their loved one. Submit a reflection or share a loving memory and we will make sure to honor them.