Spilling My Guts Is My Default

I’ve never been the mysterious one. I don’t do well with keeping things in. If I’m feeling it, you’ll probably hear about it accidentally, dramatically, and way earlier than I meant to tell you. I used to apologize for that. Used to cringe at 2 a.m. remembering something I said that maybe landed too hard or came out too fast. Used to call it oversharing. Used to call it too much. But now? Now i call it Honest. Because the truth is I don’t want to perform connection. I want to feel it. And yeah, that means sometimes I spill my guts a little too early, or say something too soft in a room that wasn’t ready for it. But at least I’m not pretending. Some people come with filters. I came with a flood. And while I’ve spent years trying to quiet it, to package myself better, to make sure I wasn’t taking up too much space with too many feelings what I’ve realized is this: Spilling my guts is not a flaw. It’s my default setting. It’s how i seek resonance. It’s how i offer presence. And if that makes some people uncomfortable- so be it. I’d rather be too open than shut down. I’d rather risk awkwardness than fake detachment. I’d rather be me. So here I am, again, saying too much. And maybe that’s the most honest version of love I know.